A misguided belief we are brainwashed into believing is “The answer to your internal problem can be solved with an external solution.”
Unhappy? Buy this thing.
Sad? Go on this holiday.
Feeling guilty about food? Eat this bar, it has no syns in it (Slimming world plays on sin – the highest form of guilt!)
The answers to internal problems are rarely solved externally.
Maybe except loneliness.
It’s possible to solve this with connection to others.
Other than that though – your unhappiness, sadness, negative emotions etc. will not be solved outside of you.
The answer is looking within.
Exploring the reasons for the emotion with curiousity, rather than judgement.
Figuring out the action signal the emotion is trying to help you take.
Emotions are information.
They are energy in motion.
Negative emotions are sometimes described as a lower vibration / energy and better emotions are higher vibration / energy.
From listening to a number of videos / reading books on this – what I think happens is the more you’re hydrated, rested, oxygenated (breathing exercises) the better your energy will be.
So you’ll have access to higher emotions – the ‘better’ ones.
The answer is always within.
Soften the judgement, open to curiousity, learn to help you feel within that you belong wherever you are.
Good things follow.
To help you navigate ‘negative’ emotions, here’s some common actions the emotion is trying to help you with:
- Discomfort – something isn’t right – your perception or actions. Clarify what you want and refine your actions.
- Fear – anticipation that something is about to happen you need to prepare for. Review what is causing fear and figure out what you need to do to prepare.
- Hurt – an expectation of yours hasn’t been met. Check your perception before communicating with the person what you felt hasn’t happened for you.
- Anger – an important rule or standard has been broken by you or someone else. Check your interpretation, change your rules, approach or behaviour.
- Frustration – your brain believes something better is possible for you. Realise frustration is your friend and brainstorms new ways to get results.
- Disappointment – an expectation you had isn’t going to happen. Change expectations and take action to set and achieve the new goal.
- Guilt – you have violated one of your highest standards. Acknowledge your error and commit to making sure the behaviour won’t happen again.
- Inadequacy – you don’t yet have the skill needed for the task. You need more information, strategies, tools or confidence. Appreciate the encouragement to improve. Find a role model and get coaching in this area.
- Overwhelm or overload – you aren’t prioritising what is important in this situation. Decide what you must focus on. Prioritise, act and build momentum. Focus on what’s in your control.
- Loneliness – you need to connect with others. Reach out and connect with others – a friend, family member or someone you know well.
What do you think? I’m happy to be wrong!
If you want the video of me walking through this and other emotions, take a look here and send to a friend if helpful!