“What if depression is, in fact, a form of grief – for our own lives not being as they should? What if it is a form of grief for the connections we have lost, yet still need?” Johann Hari, Lost Connections.
This is an incredible book I would absolutely recommend people read if interested.
This book gave me the language and understanding of why I felt a little lost last year.
It helped me make sense of why I was feeling flat for periods of time rather than the normal waves of emotions in a day or week.
I felt a numbness, a disconnect from the world and the people around me.
When I read about the causes of depression and anxiety from this book, I realised a lot of them we’ve been experiencing collectively in the last few years.
For me, I was working from home, on my own for long periods of time because Katie was going into the office everyday.
I am extroverted and so being alone I wasn’t getting any energy from being around other people.
Or meaningful connection.
One of the things that helped me a lot was nature.
Walking in the forest in Conlig beside my house grounded me, helped me feel safe to explore what I wanted.
I realised I needed to create my own work which was coaching for me create my own expression of the life I wanted to be living and to live it.
This meant leaving a secure, safe, great job in Citi and setting up my own business.
It’s not been easy but it’s working out better than I could’ve hoped for.
“The opposite of depression is expression” is a quote that I’ve lived by.
I’m expressing myself more and connecting to people more.
Instead of asking “What’s missing from my life?”
I ask myself: “What’s within me that I’m not expressing that I want to?”
This has changed my life.
It doesn’t mean it’s now easy and I’ve “arrived”.
But it’s created a sense of adventure, a journey that I’m choosing and walking daily which is powerful.
I feel alive and so does my future.
I’m more connected to myself and others.
And I feel like I’m doing important work that is changing lives.
So that we can solve bigger problems, collectively.
I hope this helps you have a little hope today.
