“I feel like an island.”
I replied, “I understand, I’ve felt that too.”
Sometimes you just want to know you’re understood, that you’re not alone feeling what you’re feeling and that it’s ok to feel what you feel.
“An island of sanity in a world of chaos” as Margaret Wheatley would say.
Leadership can be an isolating experience.
You have to do difficult things that impact people and have to go home in the evening and make sense of those things.
It’s not easy.
The other isolating thing can be when you’re not appreciated or rewarded for who you are as a leader.
Across a management or leadership team you see no one like you.
No one prioritising what you do and you start to wonder “Is there something wrong with me?”
No, there’s not.
It’s like Gabor Mate’s book – “The Myth of Normal”.
What you see around you is just a version of reality, NOT the “truth”.
There are other realities out there, beyond.
The choice to fit in and become less of you or to rise above the conditions is difficult.
This is where I think some of the coaching work I’m doing is adding so much value.
Instead of changing who leaders are, they develop a confidence within to be themselves.
The energy this creates is incredible.
This feeling helps you not feel isolated but instead feel like an island of sanity in a world of chaos.
In coaching supervision, I’m focusing on how I might help people see they’re not on their own feeling what they’re feeling.
There’s a big need for this and I want to feel understood myself which supervision is helping with but I also want to help other people feel understood too.
How might you help yourself feel understood this week?
Practice journaling for yourself using questions like the below: –
- What do you want others to know and recognise in you?
- What recognition can you give yourself?
- What are you proud of?
- What are you grateful for?
Thanks Tiago Rachelson for the conversation this week where I got to share some of my coach lessons with a future leader like him!
My next podcast is out this Friday (tomorrow!) with Chevonne George which I’m excited about sharing!
It’s an honour to be doing this work.
Keep moving forwards.
I’m able to take on one more person to start working with in July if you or anyone you know that wants to develop themselves as a leader.