Finished reading a book recently by Don Miguel Ruiz called the Four Agreements and also read The Mastery of Love. These books have really helped me spiritually and mentally!
The Four Agreements talks about four agreements you make with yourself. These are – not making assumptions (a hard one!), take nothing personally (another hard one!), always do your best and be impeccable with your word.
Not making assumptions is like defeating yourself before you try something and assuming something will go wrong when you’ve just created that in your head! It’s so simple to think about but hard to put in practice. I do this all the time. I always link this stuff back to Dating and find that making assumptions is like a built in rejection proof system my brain has. Like I’ll see a cute girl and think / assume “she won’t be interesting, don’t even think about it!”, but if I follow the four agreements, I’ll know I’m assuming this and go right ahead and talk to her! My brain is trying to protect myself from rejection and so creates this assumption in my head! Don’t make assumptions.
The next agreement is don’t take anything personally. If someone is rude to you, it might yes be something you did, but it’s also the other person’s state at that time and could be a result of a number of things happening to them before they met you! They could have had a terrible day! Been stuck in traffic etc… This not taking anything personally also links to “bad things” happening to “good people.” It’s not an attack on you, noone has anything against you or is out to get you. Sometimes you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don’t take things personally.
Always do your best is the next agreement. This is great for regrets etc. as if you do your best at every moment, you can’t regret anything because you know that you couldn’t have done anything more at the time! Somedays your best will be really good, other days it won’t be so high if you’re sick or something. But it’s still your best, so don’t beat yourself up. Forgive yourself and know at the time there was nothing more to do. Always do your best.
Be impeccable with your word is the fourth and final agreement. This really comes down to words about yourself and other people really having power and so you should use them carefully! Everyone beats themselves up – if your friend spoke to you like you spoke to yourself, how long would they be your friend?! – and these words have power to make or break you. Speak carefully about others and yourself. Be impeccable with your word.
The Mastery of Love really helped me with loving myself and realising we’re awesome! It teaches to forgive yourself and others. Loving yourself first is crucial for relationships and means that there’s no neediness or approval seeking in the relaitonship on your behalf. This makes the relationship more stable I’ve been in relationships where I sought approval from the other person and looking back realise this decreased my attractiveness..
Check these 2 books out, I know everyone will learn something from each of them…
Have a great day 🙂