When things go wrong as they sometimes will – Resilience and why you should care!

Everyone in life goes through times when things seem to just keep going wrong:

• You’ve stubbed your toe getting out of bed.
• You’ve spilled your coffee all over your newly dry cleaned trousers.
• You missed your sales target.
• You flopped in the interview.
• Your presentation went terrible.

These things at the time seem like not that big a deal. However, after these all happen in the same day, hour or short period of time – then it seems like the biggest deal in the world! A bad moment, turns into a bad day!

I think the important thing is to know that sometimes – bad things happen. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It doesn’t mean there’s someone out to get you. It doesn’t mean that your identity is someone who bad things always happen to.

When bad things – it’s not who you are – it’s just what happened to you!

In these times when things are going wrong, it’s important to have some kind of strategy to counter the stress and control the feelings going on inside you – rather than be controlled. We can’t always choose WHAT happens to us, we can only choose how we RESPOND to the things that happen to us. Some things that I find that help in these moments and to shake myself out of the feelings of everything going wrong are:

• Become AWARE of the things as they happen
• OBSERVE rather than react unconsciously
• Mindfully MONITOR what’s going on in your body – just check in and notice
• BREATHE!
• Practice GRATITUDE
• MEDITATE
• Find the LESSON – what can you learn from this event? Patience? Preparation?
• Before I react – what’s the best way to respond here that stays true to my values?
• Pressure and things going wrong are there to make you better – so find the lesson!

I love this definition of Resilience!

Resilience: the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

I think this resilience, and bounce-bankability has to come into play when these events try to throw you off your path. You may have set off in the morning in the best form, calm and motivated and have so many things happen to you that try to knock you back! So practice the strategies above so you’re ready for these times when they happen. Because they will – and that I can guarantee!

I think it’s important to remember why you started. I think it’s important to remember who you are. What you stand for. What you value in life. And focus on these when times get tough. Remember things that you can be thankful for.

One thing I love when I’ve had days like this is the poem below. Online it’s quoted as having no author but is attributed potentially to St. Jude – hope you love it and recollect it when times get hard.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Your Coach,

Phil